“We were getting ready to leave a birthday party and went up to the mother of the birthday child to thank her for inviting us. My 2-year-old son slapped her butt and said, ‘Thanks for the cake, babe.’ That’s how his father thanks me for dinner and apparently he thought it was just how you thank people for food.” —Tracy Mattea Grimes, Facebook
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“When my son was 2 and just discovering that his little thing could (ahem) stick up, he decided to show it off to his 4-year-old sister while I was in the other room tending to the newborn. They were quiet so I went to check on them, and caught her using it as a diving board for her tiny Polly Pocket dolls!” —Jennifer St.Martin, Facebook
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“We were at my mother-in-law’s house for dinner when my 4-year-old son asked his very quiet and reserved grandfather, ‘Grampie, what color is your butthole?’ He then proceeded to bend over, spread his cheeks, and ask, ‘Grampie, what color is mine?!’” —taalhi31
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“My 3-year-old son broke free from me in a crowded shopping mall yelling, ‘Ball!’ When I finally shoved through the crowds and found him, he had pried a tennis ball off an elderly man’s walker and was engaged in an intense tug of war over the remaining one while onlookers gaped. I hastily pried my son away from the walker, apologized profusely, and replaced the tennis balls.” —Minsun Park, Facebook
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“After my son learned what made boys and girls different, he started introducing himself to random people thusly: ‘Hi, I’m John, and I do NOT have a vagina.’” —meaghanb44815185c
Image via: Buzzfeed
My 6-year-old son and I had this chat in line at the grocery store:
Son: Mom, today I asked Mrs. Smith (his first grade teacher) if she’s ever had Tequila.
Son: She’s never had it! I told her it’s our favorite and we have it every Friday night!
Me: Did you tell her it’s a Mexican restaurant?
Son: No, why? What else would it be?
—Jan Hebert Knox, Facebook
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